Take 7 days to change your family’s life… or change the way you think about it!
Reading The One Thing by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan earlier this year inspired me to apply the book’s premise to doing one thing well in parenting. So asked myself, “What is the one thing I could focus on to help everything in my relationships go more smoothly?” And I answered, “Connect.”
In order to connect with my family in an authentic way, I first needed to connect with myself: with my values, strengths, challenges, goals. Once I had an idea of where I was and where I wanted to be at this point in our family’s experience, I was able to extend those thoughts to my parenting focus of connection. It’s been a game-changer, and I want to share the process with you.
I’ve outlined seven days of activities you can do, starting right now, to focus on strengthening connection. You don’t need to do each activity in seven consecutive days; the seven days are meant as guidelines to move through each set of questions. It may take you two or three weeks to complete them, but try to stick to finishing within 4 weeks of starting.
When you do this work, you will build the foundation of connection. And with that connection, you will be prepared, together, for whatever may come your way. You were all made for a time such as this. And by the end of these four weeks, you’ll believe it.
Day 1
Your WHY: Why do you want change?
- What do you hope to accomplish or change in the next month?
- How will you know you have succeeded?
- Why is this change significant to you right now?
- What will happen if you don’t make the change you want to see?
- How does your WHY relate to the idea of connection?
Day 2
Your BEST: When do you feel your best as a parent? Pick a few memories as examples and write them down, in detail.
- What are the feelings that go with those memories?
- How strong are they?
- Which are most joyful?
- How do you acknowledge and express these feelings with yourself and with your family?
Day 3
Your WORST: When do you feel your worst as a parent? Pick two memories and write them down, in detail.
- What are the feelings that go with those memories?
- How strong are they?
- Which are most painful? harmful?
- How do you acknowledge and express these feelings with yourself and with your family?
Day 4
Your LIFE, your VALUES – What’s the BIG picture of your life? How does it fit with your values?
- Your Wheel of Life Activity
- How does your reflection on these activities connect to your journal reflections from the first 3 days?
- Where are the connections between your core values and the levels of satisfaction on your wheel of life activity?
Day 5
Observing your children’s BEST: When do you see them at their best?
- Observe your child doing some things they enjoy. Jot down some notes.
- What are they doing? What do you see, hear?
- What are some words you would use to describe your child in these moments?
- What are some strengths you see them demonstrating?
- Look for patterns.
- Repeat this exercise for each child.
Observing your children’s WORST: When do you see them at their worst?
- Notice and jot down what happens in time of conflict with the same child.
- What are they doing? What do you see, hear?
- What are some words you would use to describe your child in these moments?
- What are some strengths and weaknesses you see them demonstrating?
- Look for patterns.
- Repeat this exercise for each child.
Day 6
Connect 1:1 with each of your children to do the Your Wheel of Life activity.
- Keep in mind the observations you’ve made to guide your conversation, add reassurance or encouragement, and point out positive characteristics, natural gifts, or hard work that you’ve seen each child do.
- Use the questions in the Your Wheel of Life exercise to guide your discussion about one thing to change. Plan backwards from the goal: what are the small, concrete steps that you will each need to take daily?
- What will you do when things don’t go as planned?
- What will you do to celebrate?
Day 7
Celebrate the everyday AWESOME. Life will sometimes be one step forward, two steps back. Learning happens this way, and some forward progress is progress.
Whether you completed the Challenge in 7 days or 30, celebrate the fact that you completed it! Now that you’ve got momentum with making positive change and authentic connection, keep it going!
If you liked this exercise, please check out the new Parent Resources page on YellowParachute.com for more tips and tricks to keep your family on track and stay connected.
Cara Thorpe
Founder & Visionary
Yellow Parachute Learning Partners
www.yellowparachute.com
612-361-7266
