Teens can be SCRATCHY, #amIright?
It can be SUUUUPER hard to bite my tongue instead of unleashing a litany of complaints when I feel unappreciated. So in my mission to do what matters most in my role as Mom to our 3, I practice (a great deal of) emotional regulation.
I practice “ER” with the vision that, most importantly, I want my kids to feel seen, respected, and loved. When my actions stem from my vision, I feel confident in my choices.
I can choose calm when they are frazzled, reason when they are unsure, and compassion when they are frustrated. Let me assure you, this is neither easy nor perfect, but it is a thousand times worth it!
How Do You Know What Matters Most?
I’ll share an article that offered me perspective.
In “If I Could Raise My Daughter All Over Again,” the ADDitude article’s author shares her biggest regrets in raising her daughter, who is now a mother to the author’s granddaughter. The author looks back on her experience to say,
My little girl slipped through the cracks — and through my fingers. A conscientious, diligent student right up until puberty hit, she spent her adolescence and young adulthood fighting against ADHD symptoms we missed and misdiagnosed.
We can read the pain and regret in this mother’s words – the gaps of misunderstanding that must have developed as, over time, she and her daughter grew farther apart.
I know this is heavy for an article that started with a cat Meme.
Hang in with me:
Whatever we are going through as parents, we share the common worry of losing our children. We wonder how to help, which battles to choose, and when they will “return to us.” The beautiful news? Because this author shares her regrets, we can make choices so they don’t have to be ours.
We can use the author’s reflections and descriptions to inform our vision of parenting – of becoming the people who we want to be – for our children.
Over the course of the next weeks, I’ll unpack each regret, one-by-one. As we head into spring break season, I invite you to take time to read her list and choose the one that most scares you. Then think about what you might change to prevent it.
11 Regrets That Don’t Have to Be Yours
- Regret #1: I Didn’t Truly Know Myself
- Regret #2: I Picked the Wrong Partner to Be My Co-Parent
- Regret #3: I Held Too Tight to Unrealistic Expectations
- Regret #4: I Didn’t Know What My Daughter Needed
- Regret #5: I Could Not Teach What I Never Learned
- Regret #6: I Didn’t Trust My Gut
- Regret #7: I Took Too Long to Become Brave, Strong, and Grounded
- Regret #8: We Didn’t Talk
- Regret #9: I Hid from My Anxiety
- Regret #10: I Failed to See That the Pain She Feels is Worse than the Pain She Causes
- Regret #11: I Didn’t Teach Her How to Manage Her Emotions
First, we are human.
Second, we get to decide what matters most.
And I’m here to help remind you of both!
Yours in the journey,
Cara
